Intermission: Rad Fem Cissexism Fail? Really? How shocking!
Oh look, yet another intermission post!
So I was silly and I decided to engage civilly with a rad fem who was claiming all porn is rape.. Things started out fairly well, we analyzed each other’s points, the conversation went nicely, there were concessions on both sides and then suddenly, she found out I was trans. Cue (these links may be triggering for vitriolic hate) transmisogyny, reality denying, misgendering and absurdity
I left a response comment but chances are it won’t go through. I do feel bad if I came off condescending (I don’t believe anyone should be condescending to anyone) but beyond that I tore her a new one.
I apologize if I came across condescendingly, it was certainly not my intent. I always link fallacy definitions, for anyone I don’t know (and I mean anyone) when I use them as a just in case. As soon as you showed that hey, you’re on the level, I stopped doing that.
Of course, none of this changes the fact that you’re a utterly bigoted and subject to the same old boring stupid as fuck bullshit assumptions about trans women that so many rad fems are.
I can point out to you pretty solidily that every inch of my male privilege has been stripped away by transition. Society operates towards me as they do to women, and in the rare times that they discover that I was assigned male at birth, I get treated worse than any cis woman can ever claim. Even the money I had from getting better jobs was lost by not being able to get a job now. Use your brain and actually analyze reality instead of running on your bigotry. Really, I had hoped you weren’t as bad (well really, rabidly bigoted) about trans folk as most rad fems are, but well, I’m just naive about people.
Manly essence, huh? You’re sounding remarkably essentialist for a rad fem. Are you gonna start accusing me of building Miranda Coils and sapping your womanly essence through pink lightning female energy vampirism, now?
Trans-infiltration huh? Go on, keep on digging your hole. We’re just magical ninjas, biological weapons created by the patriarchy to eat your souls, right? Go on, continue to be absurd.
You were the first one to take an overly unemotional, academic tone. I thought that’s what you wanted. If you want emotion, here it is:
Your analysis is shit. It excludes those women who enjoy porn and acts prescriptively to all women, telling them what they can or can’t consent to. It is destructive, unhelpful, reactionary and a blanket statement. Oh and by the way, you still haven’t addressed a single goddamn thing I’ve said, just spouted cissexist and transphobic venom all over your post.
So I guess you’ve got nothing to back your point up then, if you’re so easily distracted from the topic by your own bigotry.
I won’t be surprised if this comment doesn’t make it through. So I’ll be crossposting this with my analysis at my own blog.
Going back to read the comments will likely be a large waste of my time. Some folks have come to my aid but largely I think they realize how useless it is to try to reason with a transphobic radfem. Their bigotry so intense, their hatred so consuming, that trying to use rational talk with them on the subject is like trying to stop a train with your face. So really, fuck that. I feel I made my point perfectly and established well enough that she’s wrong. No point in subjecting myself to misgendering and claims that I’m “spraying manly essence” all over her blog.
It blows my mind how absurdly essentialist rad fems can be sometimes. The irony is mind blowing. And yes, I did in fact make a Miranda coil reference. Because really folk, she’s an example of #cisparody (on twitter) being too close to truth to be just parody. Poe’s law applies
In case anyone is unfamiliar with cisparody (and can’t access them cuz twitter can’t grab the old tweets), it’s a hash tag on twitter regarding a set of satirical jabs at rad fems, second wavers and feminist transphobes.
It goes over such absurdities as:
1) Trans vampires, soaking up female energy (looks like pink lightning) which turns cis women into trans women
2) Trans women being biological weapons devised by the patriarchy to destroy the feminist movement, that went out of control and got all T-Virus Resident Evil Zombie Apocolypse outbreak on their asses.
3) Miranda coils being the tesla coils of female energy, filled with ultra femme trans women and stealing the energy from all directions.
It’s hilariously bad until you remember that people genuinely believe this shit. It just took that rad fem gate jumping wire chewer to say “manly essence” and I could think of was cisparody. And the humor of the absurdity helped to lessen the blow a bit, let me tell you.
In regular life stuff:
1: I’m doing some follow up on DV resources for queer folk in my city. The chances that I’ll still be fucked over by them are fairly high but I’d really like to actually deal with having been raped and abused in a setting actually designed for that. Yanno instead of crying alone, talking to just close friends and writing private shit about it. (Although I have to say, writing about it and making art related to it has been really helpful)
2: My family is still out of contact and at this point I’m pretty much ready to give up even thinking about them. I guess I’m on my own for good now.
3: Thesis work would be going faster if I could catch the fuck up with my thesis work. The ADD is trouncing the fuck out of me on this one.
4: Being that temp time is over, I am once again (it seems like this happens every fucking few months, at least this time I can guarantee it isn’t due to being trans) unemployed. So I need to find work again so that I can afford rent, food, yanno basic shit that keeps me doing reasonably well (i.e. not dead). It’s gonna be fun going back into that clusterfuck.
5: I’ve been dodging the GLBT group at my school. I’m one of 3 out trans women that has a connection to that group and the other two are way too busy to go to the meetings most of the time. So when I’m there, I am the only out trans woman there. Feeling out of place, uncomfortable and unsafe seems part of the game I guess. The only time I feel safe is when several of my close cisGLB friends (and the one out trans guy that goes to the meetings who I’m pretty good friends with) who have acted as brill allies in the past and continue to do so are there. And even then I still don’t feel comfortable. I feel like an education receptacle as soon as I make it clear I’m trans (and people don’t know normally, I’m fairly able to blend into the cis populace by appearance and voice). Which means I invariably get the somewhat backhanded compliments of “wow you look so normal“, “oh wow, and you’re so pretty too, I never would have guessed“, etc and the epic facial twist contortion dance from formerly interested lesbians.
Interested -> (I tell them I’m trans) -> Surprised -> Confused -> Uncomfortable -> Troubled -> Disgusted -> Realization (that they just looked disgusted) -> Guarded but Polite
Gotta love drop kicks to the good old self esteem. You can’t just go from Interested to Disappointed? The “damn, she’s not my type” disappointed? You really got to go to troubled and disgusted? Really, jerk?
6: My partner is getting a lot of ableist shit at work. So we’re both looking around for better employment for them. Right now the employer fail has gone from being largely dismissive of my partner’s issues to SUPER “HELPFUL” & “ENCOURAGING” EXCITED. I.e. this horrid fuckjob of a manager told the other people in the place about my partner’s issues and claps when my partner does the stuff that is hard for them due to their disability. That’s right, you heard correctly. Claps. I want to find this fucker and verbally facemelt her for that shit. Don’t make PWD into spectacles. You are not helping, goddammit.
7: I’m still struggling with the concept of ADD being disability and the idea that I would be PWD if I so choose to enter that arena. The problem would be icy talons of fear as I discussed here. As far as intersections go, there are some really bad ones to have. PWD + Trans is a fairly unpleasant one, mostly because both are very erased in most communities, even in each other’s communities. So I’ve been really hesitant to identify as PWD and write on these issues within the context of my own life. It’s always been safer for me to write about my partner’s experiences (with permission and constant supervision of course) with chronic illness, chronic pain, mental illness and physical disability. Mostly because my partner is even more removed from this world of blogging and so they aren’t hit with any of the backlash if people get ableist on my ass for what I write. So putting myself out there like that is utterly terrifying. At some point I feel like I should. I feel like my way with words could be intensely beneficial to the PWD community and their support could be just as beneficial to me.
That first step is always the hardest though…
Filed under: personal | 86 Comments
Tags: ableism, ADD, feminist fail, fuck this fuckery, kyriarchy, privilege, PWD, random, transgender