So You Want To Express Your Privileged Opinion In A Conversation About Oppression And Survival!

29Jul12

Oh opinions, everyone has them. Just like anuses and poor life decisions. Aren’t they great? Lots of people want to share their opinions, ESPECIALLY when other people are talking about something deeply personal, painful and emotionally traumatizing!

Well fear not, person who feels oh so important! I have a guide for you about that very thing you want to do! What is that? Expressing your gloriously necessary opinions in situations where you have tons of privilege and participate in horrible systems of violent oppression, of course!

1: Knowledge is Power? Power is Knowledge? Fuck if I know! 

Worried that you might not want to express yourself if you realize just how meaningless, irrelevant and goshdarn oppressive your opinion is in the situation? Well you’re in luck! You have the magical powers of “I don’t know shit!” on your side! Just make sure that you are so woefully fucking ignorant of everything to do with the conversation you want to insert yourself into that you couldn’t possibly realize that you don’t belong in the discussion at all!

Especially not saying the awful shit you wanted to!

Gosh, if you had any idea just how much of a pile of shit your opinion actually is, you would never shove your entitled ass into places it doesn’t belong ever again! And we can’t have that.

2: FREE SPEECH, FREE SPEECH, SHUT UP ABOUT MY OPINION (United States Only)

Alright, you have your foot in the door! You’ve said something truly abhorrent and now everyone you’ve just harmed deeply wants your ass on a spit and roasting. Oh dear, how bad for you! How ever will you escape this horrible situation? Well if you’re from the United States or having a raging boner for their governmental conventions, the words “free speech” and a good old dosage of your previously used ignorance mentioned above, of course!

Remember, don’t actually know what free speech means! Because if you realize that criticizing your horrific opinions and your asinine intrusions into things you don’t know anything about is also an exercise of freedom of speech you would really be screwed then!

Also make sure to scream it out as shrilly as possible! Add a lot of whining and claiming your rights are being violated, as though the oppressed people could possibly muster power over your hideously privileged ass with your people taking it away from them violently at every turn. That’ll teach them for responding to you!

3: THERE’S NO FOREST, ONLY TREES!

Oh no! Perhaps you aren’t from the USA and free speech isn’t a buzzword that no one understands in your country! Or perhaps you already used free speech and they saw right through you! The only way you can get out of this one is the brilliant art of distraction! And if you’re really planning ahead, you can even use this method right in the beginning!

Just find a tiny inaccuracy, even if it doesn’t actually exist, some minute detail that if misunderstood by someone ignorant could be taken to be wrong. As soon as you find it, jump on it like it was a life raft in a hurricane! Hold on tight, anyone more on top of things than you will immediately realize that you’re faking everyone out because you know just how much of an ignorant jackass you really are! Gnaw on it like a bone and make sure that everyone knows just how wrong this tiny thing is. That way they don’t notice the big picture and especially not your demonstration of how little you know of it.

4: BUT BUT BUT MY FEELINGS!

Having a hard time keeping your opinion firmly inserted into the conversation? Is your ignorance wearing off a little and you’re being forced to consider the fact that you might be a giant bigoted asshole after all?

Fear not! All you have to do is muster some tears, feel really really REALLY hurt that people are starting to be harsh or not listening to you or GOD FORBID yelled at you even a little, and start accusing everyone of being negative, hateful or hurtful! Hell, you could even pull out all the stops and call them abusive, as though you have any idea how abuse actually works!

If you soak yourself in your tears and feels so much that you can barely breathe, you won’t have time to think about the indisputable fact that oppressed people have feelings too! And that far more than their feelings are hurt every single day by people like you and the violent shit you perpetrate! Once you’re effectively ignoring how your opinion just contributed to that, it’s easy to be an entitled shitsack.

Whew, crisis averted!

And remember, if all else fails, just whine about your intent and backpedal wildly!

That’s not all!

Want to know the best part about these methods?

It will bring all your privileged friends running because god forbid anyone privileged who makes a mistake should ever be criticized harshly or shot down! So you will have loads of backup, expressing all of their useless horrible opinions and providing all the insulation you require from how much of a soulless and entitled human being you really are.

Wonderful right? Now you can stick your nose where it doesn’t belong and vomit uselessness into every single conversation about people you perpetrate violence against without ever having to worry about the slightest discomfort on your part!

After all, your mild discomfort clearly outweighs brutal oppression and human suffering.



One Response to “So You Want To Express Your Privileged Opinion In A Conversation About Oppression And Survival!”


  1. 1 ON HATESPEECH AND THE JULIE BURCHELLS OF THE WORLD « Trans Feminisms

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