I Will Not Forget Them – TDOR


As a warning, some parts of this post are a bit appropriative of the lives of trans women of color, who face significantly more violence and danger than white trans women. For that, I deeply apologize. Like all posts of mine where I have made serious mistakes, I will not edit or remove it but instead let it stand here as a reminder of my mistakes.

This is a day that is hard for me.

But really, it is a day that is hard for all of us. The day that drives home the war we’re fighting, is one that has many causalities. That even those who aren’t fighting directly, who just try to live and love, are struck down by the hands of cis hatred, infecting the minds of cis folk everywhere.

There are years that I don’t even want to think about it. And there are years that I do the candlelight vigil and cry the whole day. And then there are years like this. Where I look at the lives of those lost, try to find their stories and think about our own.

Every one of us is precious, beautiful, amazing. Those who have been murdered and those who still yet live. Today is not a day for statistics. You can look those up yourself. You can see how many of us die through murder, how many more of us by percentage than nearly any other minority group and certainly more than the majority groups. You can grapple with that sobering, horrifying number on your own time. It’s your responsibility to.

No, today, we talk about the people. Those who lived. Those who loved. Those who were taken away. There are lists of those who were lost and pictures if they are available. Look into those eyes and try to imagine speaking to that person, loving that person, being that person. Some of you have lost someone already. A partner, a loved one, a dear friend, family, or perhaps other connections. Some of you already can celebrate their lives because you have direct access to the life they lived, the beauty they wrought in the world.

I am going to make a request of you. This blog is structured in a way that largely educates cis folk. I know that I have a notable cis readership. Well now, you have homework. Go out, research. Find one person who was lost. One of my sisters (or brothers or nonbinary siblings, as they are taken too). Find out everything you can about them. Don’t pry. Only public things. Things they offered to the world. Imagine them in real life. Imagine knowing them. Imagine losing them. And then celebrate their life.

Learn those stories. And always remember, someday, I could be on that list.

So celebrate their lives and celebrate ours. That’s what we’ll be doing.

I Will Never Forget.

3 Responses to “I Will Not Forget Them – TDOR”

  1. “Someday I could be on that list” [after you have lived your hundred years].

    I am not sure if there is anyone who identifies as the opposite gender of the one they were born as other than myself and I have yet to do anything really worth noting, but I shall go looking and share a moment of silence with you all.


  2. I’d rather live several hundred years or more actually. Immortality would be a nice thing.

  1. 1 TDOR 2009 « Zero at the Bone

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: