Radical Intermission: Weird Dream


We all know it’s truly radical for a trans person to not always talk about stuff to educate cis people. That’s the main reason why I have Intermission posts. Not only do they give me a chance to just go over what’s going on in my life or talk about personal stuff that’s less relevant to activism. But lately I’ve failed and used a lot of Intermission posts to rant about cis people.

So now, I’m trying over again with random radical Intermissions. In other words, it’s radical for a trans woman to be just random and talk about silly things, strange things or things happening in her life that have nothing to do with cis people or activism. This series won’t replace Intermission but it will run concurrently, occasionally filling the slot that Intermission fills in between my activism. I do try to keep on task with this blog (I’ve got other places where I be all random already) but everyone needs breaks from the heavy stuff and it isn’t my job to educate you (yes, even you) all the time.

At least until I get paid to blog or something. o_O

Anyways… weird ass dream:

So it’s no secret that I do watch some Doctor Who from time to time. I’m not well versed in it and I’ve mostly only seen chunks of the new and older series. So I’m mildly Who saavy and have enough of a sci fi brain (being a writer myself) to have some really creative (and strange dreams) involving the Whoverse. Like say a dream with such a ridiculous level of memorable detail that I really feel like it could be written into some kinda fan fiction or something if I was thus inclined. I get these detailed dreams every once in a while (not always dealing in Who or other series) and they are intense.

This particular one was one where I’m a sealed energy being (the kind that don’t have physical forms but are made of energy & psychic fields apparently that they manipulate directly and in order to affect things that have mass, they simply drop energy into them in certain directions or ways, also interdimensional existence) with almost no access to my interdimensional energy manipulation abilities, stuck in a human body that, if it dies, I get to sit there and scream silently into the darkness as it slowly decomposes enough to release me. Already, this dream is scary.

Apparently the Doctor has taken pity on me for being sealed for trying to save a species (even though I’ve tried to kill him once before my change of heart and that good deed and also almost accidentally committed genocide during that time) and took me along with his Companions, a woman named Madgie or Madje (She had what seemed like Persian features, I dunno if that helps in figuring out what name she had since she was born in the UK, go dream logic letting me know things!) and this guy who’s name has faded completely from my brain. Well the dream’s explicit actions started in the midst of us being in a completely fucked viral “zombie” (more Res Evil, since the zombies are mutated humans who are driven to nom human flesh, some of them have weird looking freak heads or limbs with blades) outbreak. The Doctor was with a bunch of soldiers holed up in a biology research facility (which *gasp* was responsible for the outbreak. The TARDIS was captured by them, they apparently knew who he was and captured it to gain his help in desperation, something that irritated him since he apparently planned to help anyways. By this point I had a very small level of access to my abilities, small scale, most control within my own human body shell and some minor sort of dnd esque spell like abilities (lol fireball, which I did in fact use at one point) but all of which was draining and couldn’t be used uninhibitedly or concurrently to a lot of our uses at once.

We went out to get a sample for the cure the soldiers needed and found another building with a powerful set of servers and some old alien technology (that I and the Doctor recognized) and discovered that this virus was originally alien in origin and was their attempts to clone themselves through other species, but that the soldiers had turned it to a biological weapon after they killed the aliens and paid for it by infecting the entire world (we were in the UK obviously, yet my accent was Canadian. I know this because Madje teased me about it and none of us could figure out why a sealed energy being in a human body dropped in the UK would sound Canadian.) Madje got infected, but didn’t mutate, in fact her blood seemed to contain antibodies that kept the virus at bay but only so much as it kept them from changing her body. She was still kinda zombie esque in that she wasn’t home in her own head and kind of moved around in a daze. I shielded her with a force coating that kept all things with mass from moving past it so that the infection couldn’t pass (since she was still a carrier) but she could still be touched to guide her. The Doctor was, obviously, deeply upset that she had been infected and told the soldiers off in very threatening ways. So finally they told us what was up, about the virus, how they changed it and the how to access the old building with the alien stuff in it. But they refused to let Madje stay in the base, even with my shielding, so they kicked her out with a tracking bracelet that would let us find her (since the zombies wouldn’t eat an infected, even an immune one, for some reason, never understood that). The Doctor got to work on a cure using the bio lab, Madje’s blood samples (which boosted the work) and the samples we got. But he pointed out that there was no way to distribute the cure without access to some sort of system for spraying fluid into the atmosphere and allowing it to cover wide areas. That the virus was progressing too quickly for them to just go out and jab people with syringes.

I then raised an idea, I couldn’t do much in the way of curing the virus because of my abilities being sealed and only having small access. But if I funneled my abilities through the servers in the building, using the jury rigged alien technology and the data contained in there I could remove the virus in a huge radius throughout the city. Which would also cure Madje and give us access to the airfield where there were crop dusters or planes we could modify as crop dusters. The Doctor smiled and said, “Clever girl, that makes up for trying to kill me in my future and your past.” And I cringe and go, “actually I tried to kill you twice.” And he said, “Oh. Well that’s unfortunate. I’m sure you’ll make up for that one too.”

So me and the guy I can’t remember the name of went into the building and snuck past the zombies. We knew that if we killed one the others would come rushing (they swarmed when a zombie died, hivemind style, but if the zombie just stopped sending the “omg flesh to eat signal” the hivemind assumed it had killed the humans) and I didn’t want to kill any because I was going to cure them (and still feeling huge tons of soul crushing regret and guilt for almost wiping out an entire species obliviously) so I was tossing sparks of electricity that knocked them out from my hands. The guy, let’s call him Bob, Bob was impressed and told me that was “right brill, ma’am”, to which I retorted, “I may be 400 years old but this body is only 18 years worth of human growth.” and he stammered an apology, to which I smiled and told him I was just joking.

We got into the server room and found a guy with a beard who appeared to be rather paranoid and malnourished (for good reason, he’d apparently been dodging zombies for a while now and surviving off of vending machine food in the building), he shot at us until I finally used kinetics to knock the gun out of his hand. We explained to him that we weren’t there to eat him that we wanted to use the alien tech to cure the virus in a wide radius. He was disbelieving but when we told him that he didn’t have to leave the server room, just modify the servers, he was very very pleased with our idea. I stepped forward for a moment and concentrated, putting energy into his bodily system and giving him some temporary nourishment directly and then we booked out to the room with the alien tech.

Unfortunately, this is about when Bob screwed up and killed one of the zombies with a wrench cuz it knocked me down unexpectedly. So now, zombies where coming from all directions (we could hear them running in the building) So I got on the intercom and told the server room hermit to activate a lockdown. He did and the whole building shut down and trapped us but also kept the zombies away. I told the Doctor over the communication device he gave us that there were complications and what happened. He said to just keep working, he was almost done and we needed to do this quickly before the zombies broke into the bio facility.

And that’s when we realized that Madje, who’s shield had worn off, was in the room with us. She wasn’t entirely immune apparently because she rushed me and bit my hand, Bob hesitated (cuz good god she’s his friend!) and she rushed and bit him too. So while the Doctor was going, “what happened over there? What’s going on?!” I was pushing a ton of energy into myself, Bob and Madje using the alien tech to stave off the effects of the virus before I passed out. I managed to hold it at bay and we all got up, including Madje, who was very confused. I told the Doctor, “…we’re infected now.” He said, “what?!” and I said, “Madje bit us, she was in the building. No idea why. I’m repressing the virus right now, but it’s only a matter of time before I can’t keep up the energy output. I hate being sealed.” He said, “Then we have to hurry. How fast can you modify the equipment?” I responded, “Very fast. I’m clever, remember?” And he gave me a look and nodded.

So I modified the alien stuff. The dream kinda got fuzzy here. I have absolutely no clue what I did to it but at a certain point I said, “alright, just have to cross two more wires and I can funnel the energy in. I hope I did this right, we’ve been dreadfully rushed on this.”

And that’s when the lockdown ended. All the doors opened and some really horrifying looking monstrosities that used to be human came barreling in. We all screamed and ran through the only door that a monster mutant didn’t come through, the server hermit came on over the intercom and said, “I’m sorry! I couldn’t keep the servers in lockdown mode! I didn’t get the subroutine right!” He set up the automatic energy guns in the building to fire bursts at the zombies to keep them away (yes the building had energy gun turrets in doors and outside. o_O) as we ran.

So things seemed a bit hopeless, as I told the Doctor what had happened. We were all infected (if delayed), we were kicked out of the building and when we went back in we’d have to face three huge berzerker thingies, I couldn’t use my abilities to shock zombies anymore because I was keeping us from being turned into zombies and if we didn’t do something soon my strength to do that (and funnel energy through the alien tech and the building) would run out. That’s when Madje piped up and said, “what about the building turrets? Can we use those to shock the zombies? It didn’t seem to kill them just stun them, like your lightning does”. Bob scoffed at her, telling her that it wouldn’t work because they didn’t have a power source and Doctor said, “No, that’s brill, can modify them to work off a battery or something. There’s plenty of cars here, filled with batteries.” (He didn’t actually use my IRL name, I was just aware that the name he used described me in the dream, and I can’t remember what that name was)

So we snuck back to the building around the zombies, climbed up to one of the guns and detached it using a very slow and very small flow of kinetic energy from me (Madje said, “wow, you’re like a living sonic screwdriver!” and I said, “um… thanks, I guess.” o_O) and then we did that to one more and attached their wires to car batteries. Bob carried both the car batteries (“whyyyy do I have to carry the batteries!”, “cos you’re right terrible shot” from Madje, “Right. Good point I guess.” from Bob).

We rushed back into the building using the energy guns, Bob following us carrying the battery and grumbling under his breath (and occasionally screaming at the zombies rushing at us), stunning the zombies and rushing past. We went to each door that led to the room with the alien tech and sealed each of them except for one, which we rushed into. Only one Berzerker was left, and we fired a bunch of energy bursts at it, while Bob screamed and it ran at us. When it was finally downed, Madje, after teasing Bob for his “bravery” a bit, got him to put the battery down and pick up a gun and point it at the head of the Berzerker, cuz the Doctor mentioned to us (he was in an open comlink, having already finished the biological cure) that the Berzerkers were known not to stay stunned long. Madje held the other gun and pointed it at the door we didn’t seal (it was just closed and could be broken open) in case zombies came. I worked on the last wires and began slowly dumping energy into the alien tech and servers, which meant we started getting woozy from the virus being less repressed.

Then the server hermit popped up on the com and said, “um, sorry folks, I accidentally killed one of them. You might want to hurry.” and like clockwork, zombie footsteps were heard echoing and the door started getting pounded on. Bob fired another burst into the Berzerker as it started to move and it went out like a light again, just as the zombies broke the door and Madje started firing bursts at them, making a pile of knocked out zombies in the way. I went all out with the energy and all of us got really woozy and Bob threw up next to the Berzerker (gross pitch black liquid) and said, “oh that’s not good.” and then the alien tech began to glow and energy sparked up through the wires and the whole building thrummed. The Doctor said over the com, “It’s working! Keep it up, I can see the receiver tower glowing from here!”

Bob passed out Madje fired too more bursts and passed out and zombies began climbing over the pile towards us as I put my all into the machine. And suddenly there was this glowy field of energy that coated everything and then everything went black.

Not that I passed out, just that all the lights went dead. There were people moaning in pain in the dark and I made light come from my hands. Bob and Madje got up, both were okay, but Bob was next to this horrible pile of gore and there were people missing limbs, hands, and some missing heads or just dead with blood coming out of their mouths in a pile by the door. Some were alive but in pain and dying from blood loss and the others were horrified at their mouths covered in blood and the carnage around them.

“Oh no… I miscalculated…” I said, and fell to my knees and started crying. Madje dragged me as I weeped and Bob tried to get the freaked out cured people to help those who were less cured and more ripped apart by the virus constructed organs and limbs being spontaneously removed but no human flesh being placed to replace it. I continued to freak out and call myself a mass murderer as soldiers came by and did triage. The Doctor looked at me sadly and said, “This was just a mistake. There’s no time to grieve. We have to move on and distribute the cure” and coolly walked past the bleeding and the dying towards the airfield, not even looking down at them. Madje looked horrified at how cold he was being and Bob was like, “That’s it? We just let them die? That isn’t right! Do you hear me? Doctor? Doctor!” and followed him. Madje said, “You couldn’t have known, luvie. You did the best you could.” and I did the best I could to pull myself together. I was too drained to fly any of the planes but I was able to speed up the process of jury rigging all of them with crop dusting gear, while the Doctor worked on the other half using his screwdriver. And we all watched as the military people took the planes out and crop dusted the surrounding area with the cure.

“Yours won’t do what mine did, will it?” I asked, through tears. The Doctor looked after the planes and said, “it will. There’s no way to cure it fully. All we can do is save some and stop the rest.” I just stared at him, Madje and Bob both choked and sputtered, looking horrified. “You’re seriously murdering hundreds of people in a horrible painful way just to cure some and stop the outbreak?!” Bob said. The Doctor didn’t say anything at first and finally said, “we need to head back to the TARDIS, this is in their hands now.”

And then I woke up. So that is my dream. It’s a fanfic waiting to happen likely.

4 Responses to “Radical Intermission: Weird Dream”

  1. 1 Jadey

    I just wanted to say that I’ve been following your comments on a lot of different blogs and your own posts here. I have a lot of respect for what you have to say and I’m always happy to see your handles pop up around the blogosphere, no matter the topic. I also enjoyed this entry, as a Who fan and zombie enthusiast. That is also a serious amount of workable logical plot for a dream! More so than a number of actual DW episodes out there. :D

  2. I’d watch that. :)

  3. I’m incredibly impressed that you *remembered* that much of a dream… i don’t think i know anyone who can remember their dreams in anything like that level of detail!

  4. It’s pretty amazing to me too. I’ve only had two dreams I got this much detail from. The rest are blurry messes. This is the third detailed one.

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