Do Abled Folk Think We Have Magical Powers?
So I did something kind of foolish. I asked for advice on how to deal with my depression on twitter. I was a bit desperate really, I’ve been reeling and I don’t have a whole lot of help here. So I asked. I got a good chunk of good advice from other folks with depression. And then I got this gem:
“Stop [self] hating”
Really, asshole? It’s that easy? I can just magically stop my depression? Well gosh, I wish I knew that before. If only I realized that PWD who have mental, emotional or personality based disorders and/or mental illness had magical powers. That we were all sparkly pixie dust dispensers and could douse ourselves in that dust and magically stop feeling depressed or stop having trouble focusing or stop whatever is going on in our heads.
What is it that makes abled people think that we can just magically stop hurting? What is it that makes abled people so damned ignorant about how various mental disabilities and disorders work, to the point that they would think the words, “stop being depressed”, “stop being unfocused” would actually be a fucking help? I don’t know if abled folk do this with psychosis and hallucinations but I can solidly bet they do. Oh wait, I know what makes them think that. Privilege.
This bs from abled people is a big reason why asking for advice on depression on twitter is such a ridiculously bad idea. But the part that really upsets me, that really pushes me past the bounds of civility, is how these people will defend saying this bullshit to me after I’ve told them how unhelpful it is. And the fact that when I need help, comfort or I’m hurting, I’m stuck educating a bunch of ignorant wire chewers when the powers of google lie at their finger tips.
Here’s the thing, abled folk. We can’t just stop this shit. We can’t magically make our disabilities disappear. I can’t just stop being depressed. There are ways to cope, to deal with it, ways to treat the pain and the depression. But no amount of willpower and new age hipster fuckjob positive thinking is going to change what I’m dealing with.
And that’s really what it comes down to isn’t it? It’s that new age hipster fuckjob positive thinking thing. Thinking positivity has its uses. For one, thinking negatively can be very draining and harmful, so thinking positively is a way to avoid the risk of that. And thinking positively is a good way in some cases to gain the confidence needed to go after what you want. But thinking positively does not cure depression. It won’t make disabilities of any kind go away, not chronic pain, not depression, not ADD, not any of them. It really doesn’t even improve them. This whole, “thinking positive will magically solve your problems” bullshit has been all over the United States for a while now. And it’s feeding right into ableism and able privileged bullshit.
Could I just have one day where no stupid assholes tell me to just stop being depressed? Or that it’ll all be okay? Or that other people have it worse and I should feel lucky? That one especially does not fucking help me. Because then I feel guilty for feelings I can’t control, which in turn feeds into the depression. Thanks a lot, fucking asshole. I feel real lucky now, you douchenozzle.
Real advice. That’s all I’m asking for right now. Real, actual advice. If you don’t have a goddamn clue about how depression works… don’t talk. It really is that easy. Just don’t open your fucking mouth and let ableist bullshit flow forth like a river of useless fail. It is so fucking unbelievably easy for you not to give this useless, terrible, ableist advice. It is so much easier for you to keep your trap shut and do a little googling research, then it is for me to take one more abled person’s ignorant bullshit on my back when I’m already pretty fucked mentally.
So no, I’m not a damn pixie. I don’t have magical powers. I can’t just snap my fingers and make my depression disappear. Learn this, for fuck’s sake.
Filed under: personal, rant | 52 Comments
Tags: ableism, depression, disability, privilege, PWD, rage, self esteem