One Day

A boy met a girl.
She seemed very familiar,
not to the point of being
strange or creepy.
She did like to stare at him,
Which he found a bit odd.
But it wasn’t a serious problem. Continue reading ‘Mini Intermission: Poetry, Because I’m Sappy.’

We’ve all heard the spiel. Some have given it during more failtastic times. And even if you haven’t had it directed at you and haven’t said it, chances are you’ve witnessed it.

The Nice Guy™ spiel.

Most of us have known at least one. Some of us are one or were one. Many of us (women) have had to deal with the irritation of The Nice Guy™. Many guys have had to deal with their indigence and jealousy.

But for that lucky happy soul who has never dealt with this, what is The Nice Guy™? Continue reading ‘Redefining Nice: Why “Nice Guys” Finish Last’

This post has been crossposted at The Spectrum Cafe

I don’t think it’s much of a secret that feminism as a movement (and sometimes even as an ideology) has some troubles.

A movement plagued by prescriptive nonsense on a fairly regular basis, it has been guilty of body policing, life choice policing and attacking those women who choose options or exhibit traits that it deems to be part of the sexism aligned axis of kyriarchy. Thin women are attacked with body policing with catchphrases like, “real women have curves” and “eat a sandwich”. Women who choose to work in porn or in sex work are attacked in some really awful ways, as their self determination is stripped from them by the women who claim to protect the self determination of us all.

Feminism is also well known for truly abhorrent cissexism and transphobia from its second wave and radical feminism zones (trigger warning on the comments) and hasn’t exactly solved the problem of cissexism in the third wave either. This can include treating trans men like “men lite” (something that is endemic all over feminism) and especially shows itself in degendering and even levying misogynistic attacks on trans women. Often with the claim that since we transitioned, we deserve it because we “chose to be women” (a pretty foolish conclusion built on a lack of comprehension and willful ignorance).

And it has certainly been utterly awful to women of color and women with disabilities as well. The fact that womanism was built specifically to escape the racism of feminism and the fact that an entire community blog (FWD) tore away from all the major feminist blogs due to their ableism, should be indicator enough that there’s some serious problems here.

So with feminism’s issues being so distinct and so serious, one would think that feminist “allies” would quickly acknowledge and work to fix the problems. Right? As it turns out, no, not really. Continue reading ‘Feminist Disavowal Of Cissexism’

Crossposted to The Spectrum Cafe.

There’s a funny thing in the United States (and in a few other places too). It’s called a right to privacy. It isn’t perfect. After all, any right will have some limitations to account for clashes of rights. But for the most part, we all have a right to not disclose medical history, personal info or anything that would not threaten the life or health of someone to people we meet and know. Even in ethics, privacy is considered a major necessity and was the original basis behind abortion option rights (before bodily domain became a major player through McFall v Shimp), the basis behind many of the laws regulating police activity and governmental monitoring and a huge number of laws related to people’s information, companies and the internet. Even now, ethics forbids sharing information about people that is considered private (or coercing them to share it), even in situations where the law does not back such protections. We like our privacy. And we seem to mostly support the privacy of others.

Yanno, as long as they’re cis. Continue reading ‘Dating And “Disclosure”’

Activists work together. Very rarely is there a lone wolf thing going on with activists. We can be pretty social (mostly by necessity, trying to do this shit alone is hard). Quite often a community forms around bloggers, lobbyists, small organizations and non profits. This community coordinates the efforts of individual activists, aids them, supports them and largely tries to use safety in numbers to enable more to get done and to do so in a way that doesn’t endanger its members.

And sometimes it becomes a giant tool of sexual harassment, trolling, fuckery and bullshit from fetid scumholes who really need a hollowpoint present through the esophagus. Continue reading ‘In House Harassment And Apathy: How Communities Kill Activists’

I Hate Eating


That title’s a little rough isn’t it? Food isn’t bad in and of itself. I love tastes and I enjoy feeling full. I get hungry like lots of people do and I still eat (although I forget to sometimes). What I hate about food is the pain.

Some people might ask, “what’s painful about food?”

Well, it’s not what you think (unless you know me, then it is what you think). I have IBS. Irritable Bowel Syndrome. A wide variety of foods set off powerful muscle spasms in my intestines (presumably down the entire length, not just the large intestine, since it prevents proper absorption of nutrients too (as evidenced by the rapid weight loss I get when I get a bad chain of attacks over a month or a few weeks). These spasms cause intense pain, the generation of gas, bloating, sometimes nausea and at their worst, they cause such burning napalm bowel movements. So every time I eat a meal, I have to think to myself, “will I be in unbearable pain for a half hour or longer from this?”

And the answer is usually, “yes.” Continue reading ‘I Hate Eating’

Media is rough. I get that.

It can be hard to make it in the art world, it’s part of the reason I went into the sciences despite my writing and artistic capabilities (I’d say talent, but fucked if I know if I have any or not, I’ve yet to get published. I seem to do well enough here though). Whether you’re an actor, musician, writer, artist (comics or whatever) you need something to pull the crowds, no matter what your purpose for your art. Some people do art because they’re searching for beauty in a sea of fuckery. Others are just trying to reach like minded people. And some just wanna get noticed. There’s not a lot of bad reasons to do art, that sort of thing is pretty personal. Of course, that doesn’t say a thing about the methods used to achieve those purposes.

Like being “edgy”. Continue reading ‘Edgy: Just Another Excuse To Be An Entitled Asshole’

Welcome once again to the Activist Modus Operandi Series. I’m sure you all remember the first AMO post I wrote, with its overall summary of the methods of communication. (If not, you should definitely read it. This material is not 101 and it expands off of the previous.)

This particular post will go more in depth on the Nuker archetype of AMO communication. Specifically some of the more serious pitfalls a Nuker can run into as they nuke. Continue reading ‘[Activist Modus Operandi] Anger Toxicity And Collateral Damage’

Guest post from Staticnonsense:

Why hello there! I am a being, having been born into existence. But since that is a very long way to address me, you can simply refer to me as Static Nonsense or SN. I like pandas, kitties, Pixy Sticks and Linux. On an actual serious note, I am a young adult with disabilities and of queer and trans* identity – but who cares about that?! Pandas and kitties are better. Indubitably. If you are at all interested in what else I have to say (short of pandas and kitties, regretably they have no spotlight at the moment), take a gander at my space over at I Am Not. In the meanwhile though, enjoy. Or rage. Feel free to take your pick. Continue reading ‘Guest Post: I Am Not – Your Hipster Punchline’

I’m going to start this off with a mild disclaimer. I’m a social engineer. A people hacker. Social engineering is as simple as catching patterns, comprehending them and then learning the trigger points to change those patterns socially, allowing an adjustment of another’s behavior. I use it to protect myself and others and I use it to deal with situations where I’m forced into a power dynamic that is unequal. I also use it to read people, to get an idea of what’s up so that I know if I’m safe or if I’m in a bad situation. I avoid it in power dynamics where I have the upper hand and in equal dynamics (although I still read for safety). I didn’t always use it only for those purposes in the past Continue reading ‘Why Pick Up Artists Make Me Incoherently Enraged’