Oh opinions, everyone has them. Just like anuses and poor life decisions. Aren’t they great? Lots of people want to share their opinions, ESPECIALLY when other people are talking about something deeply personal, painful and emotionally traumatizing!

Well fear not, person who feels oh so important! I have a guide for you about that very thing you want to do! What is that? Expressing your gloriously necessary opinions in situations where you have tons of privilege and participate in horrible systems of violent oppression, of course!

1: Knowledge is Power? Power is Knowledge? Fuck if I know! 

Worried that you might not want to express yourself if you realize just how meaningless, irrelevant and goshdarn oppressive your opinion is in the situation? Well you’re in luck! You have the magical powers of “I don’t know shit!” on your side! Just make sure that you are so woefully fucking ignorant of everything to do with the conversation you want to insert yourself into that you couldn’t possibly realize that you don’t belong in the discussion at all!

Especially not saying the awful shit you wanted to!

Gosh, if you had any idea just how much of a pile of shit your opinion actually is, you would never shove your entitled ass into places it doesn’t belong ever again! And we can’t have that.


Alright, you have your foot in the door! You’ve said something truly abhorrent and now everyone you’ve just harmed deeply wants your ass on a spit and roasting. Oh dear, how bad for you! How ever will you escape this horrible situation? Well if you’re from the United States or having a raging boner for their governmental conventions, the words “free speech” and a good old dosage of your previously used ignorance mentioned above, of course!

Remember, don’t actually know what free speech means! Because if you realize that criticizing your horrific opinions and your asinine intrusions into things you don’t know anything about is also an exercise of freedom of speech you would really be screwed then!

Also make sure to scream it out as shrilly as possible! Add a lot of whining and claiming your rights are being violated, as though the oppressed people could possibly muster power over your hideously privileged ass with your people taking it away from them violently at every turn. That’ll teach them for responding to you!


Oh no! Perhaps you aren’t from the USA and free speech isn’t a buzzword that no one understands in your country! Or perhaps you already used free speech and they saw right through you! The only way you can get out of this one is the brilliant art of distraction! And if you’re really planning ahead, you can even use this method right in the beginning!

Just find a tiny inaccuracy, even if it doesn’t actually exist, some minute detail that if misunderstood by someone ignorant could be taken to be wrong. As soon as you find it, jump on it like it was a life raft in a hurricane! Hold on tight, anyone more on top of things than you will immediately realize that you’re faking everyone out because you know just how much of an ignorant jackass you really are! Gnaw on it like a bone and make sure that everyone knows just how wrong this tiny thing is. That way they don’t notice the big picture and especially not your demonstration of how little you know of it.


Having a hard time keeping your opinion firmly inserted into the conversation? Is your ignorance wearing off a little and you’re being forced to consider the fact that you might be a giant bigoted asshole after all?

Fear not! All you have to do is muster some tears, feel really really REALLY hurt that people are starting to be harsh or not listening to you or GOD FORBID yelled at you even a little, and start accusing everyone of being negative, hateful or hurtful! Hell, you could even pull out all the stops and call them abusive, as though you have any idea how abuse actually works!

If you soak yourself in your tears and feels so much that you can barely breathe, you won’t have time to think about the indisputable fact that oppressed people have feelings too! And that far more than their feelings are hurt every single day by people like you and the violent shit you perpetrate! Once you’re effectively ignoring how your opinion just contributed to that, it’s easy to be an entitled shitsack.

Whew, crisis averted!

And remember, if all else fails, just whine about your intent and backpedal wildly!

That’s not all!

Want to know the best part about these methods?

It will bring all your privileged friends running because god forbid anyone privileged who makes a mistake should ever be criticized harshly or shot down! So you will have loads of backup, expressing all of their useless horrible opinions and providing all the insulation you require from how much of a soulless and entitled human being you really are.

Wonderful right? Now you can stick your nose where it doesn’t belong and vomit uselessness into every single conversation about people you perpetrate violence against without ever having to worry about the slightest discomfort on your part!

After all, your mild discomfort clearly outweighs brutal oppression and human suffering.

The internet has been shitstorming lately. It’s a familiar sort of shitstorm, the kind that arises over and over again in response to a far worse thing.

Wolves in sheep’s clothing.

If you’re not familiar with the feminism and the GL…b…. (t?) communities then you probably don’t know that, despite talking a great deal about privilege and the dangers that arise from trust for the privileged, mainstream feminism and cisGLB have this very bad habit of trying to tell women (woc and trans women and twoc) and trans people, bisexuals and poc (and any combination) respectively, who to trust.

Your two examples for the day.

Continue reading ‘You Don’t Get To Tell Us Who Our Enemies Are’

A lot of people seem to be under the impression that I am “politically correct”.

This is an odd impression for many reasons, not a few of which relate most to political correctness’ nonsensical application to all sorts of things and the fact that no one can fully agree on a definition for the phrase. The one element of PC that people seem to agree on the most is that it is built around the avoidance of offense (often in relation to oppressed folks).  So the actual meat of the assumption isn’t so much that I am politically correct and more that I work to eliminate words that are found offensive byoppressed groups (my own and the ones of others). Mostly slurs.

Continue reading ‘Words and Offense’

Hi there folks.

This isn’t a standard post and I’m still more or less on hiatus from blogging. But I do have a question for my readers. A while back I created a page. It’s got a pretty harsh name, harsher than its actual purpose (and if you don’t know what I’m talking about well that answers my question right away, now doesn’t it?) which is to warn people if certain large scale or popular blogs have made serious mistakes and refused to apologize for or admit to them. But as we all know, “The Warning List” or the “Zero Accountability List” isn’t really going to be read by well… anyone (which really is kind of a statement on how bloodthirsty the online social justice activist community can be, including my past self, but that’s an issue I think I’ve gone over to the point of nausea on this blog by now).

Let’s go over the issues first.

Continue reading ‘Intermission: Is the Shit List Warning System Actually Helping Anyone?’

This’ll be a short one folks. I completely forgot to let the WordPress reading crowd what happened. On January 3rd, Monday, I was admitted to a hospital with what ended up being acute appendicitis with a perforation. Since it was already spilling toxic shit into me, they opted to go straight to surgery and in my pain and sick haze I agreed. The appendix came out the night of and I remained in the hospital being pumped full of antibiotics and trying to heal for about 5~6 days. Long story short, I’m alive, I’m out of the post op ward but I’m still not in good shape and it’s gonna be a couple of weeks before I can even function enough to leave the house and buy groceries, much less get some good old social justice work done for y’all.

So, wish me healing love and luck as I take some time off to make my insides not be cut up anymore.

This post’s coherence brought you to by hydrocodone mixed with acetaminophen and several days resting.


Crossposted at The Spectrum Cafe


It’s deeply personal and for the most part we go way out of our way to protect it. Not just our own but others as well. At least when identity policing and erasure isn’t going on. It’s one of those sacrosanct inviolable rules of the Alphabet Soup community (GLBTQQIAsomethingsomethingetc) that identity trumps all. Don’t police, don’t fuck with it, don’t erase, don’t demean and don’t tell people their identities are invalid.

This sacredness of identity is, for the most part, brilliant. It protects people from erasure, prevents the odious bullshit of having to explain and justify why you are who you are to every privileged piece of scumfuck who comes along. Sacrosanct identity allows us to work past the bounds of nonfunctional or bigoted language built to deny us basic self determination of who we are. It allows us to come to terms with the workings of our lives and the problems we face at our own pace and have community to fight these issues. Generally when identity is attacked, it’s attacked on bigoted bases or on derails. By treating it as sacred, that heads off those attempts at the pass, allowing identity to stay safe even when under assault from all sides. Yes, identity being sacred is helpful in many ways but it is also has one ridiculous flaw.

It doesn’t account for the fact that identity is not immune to being bigoted.

Continue reading ‘The Sacrosanct Identity, Bigotry And The Enabling Of Oppression’

It’s difficult to write this.

Many of us push ourselves. Hard. The things we fight for are precious and denied us so easily, so effortlessly. The pain and suffering we face is awful. Oppression is no joke. It shatters lives. So we fight, battle, educate, speak out and work to fix society or even break it and replace it. And then at the end of the day, we take some time to rest, tend our wounds of the body, mind and soul and wait for the next fight, the next goal, the next set of ignorant people.

Well, not all of us.

Continue reading ‘When Activism Becomes Self Harm’

Hi folks, welcome to the first ever product review on GB. I even made a separate category!

Recently I was asked to review a product from TheirToys.com Sex Toys. After all I do write about sex a lot so I am probably fairly well suited to do this sort of review. After some discussion with their representative I decided to review the Screaming O FingO from (obviously) Screaming O. Specifically the wavy textured one. The product was sent to me for free as thanks for doing the review (and for the publicity that reviews give no matter how they go, of course).

Continue reading ‘[Product Review] ScreamingO’s FingO Vibrator for TheirToys.com’

Crossposted at The Spectrum Cafe

I’d like to leave a note here that one can use bisexuality to mean more than two genders attracted to provided the why for it isn’t binarist or cissexist. Because the base definition isn’t inherently cissexist, there’s a lot of leeway to play with the word as an identity without running into any problems of the word itself having dangerous power. This post deals with the binarism and cissexism strawman about the “two gender attractions” in bisexuality if one is using that definition. I don’t go into what sort of reasons for expanding bisexuality would be cissexist because generally a given bisexual person you ask about their bisexuality and it applying to more than two genders will have basic identity as a reason and not anything more. So it’s not super relevant.

[Edits added to clarify certain points]

I recently read an article from Julia Serano that filled me with dismay. Not just the article itself but the whole debate about bisexuality and how no one really comprehends the actual issue.

For those who have a deep phobia of hyperlinks (or a really shitty computer, like me), it was an attempt to defend bisexuality from accusations of enforcing the gender binary. Mostly by spouting male/female essentialism (which is pretty cissexist in and of itself and hell, even sexist) and then using it as a descriptor of how there’s a difference in her treatment by society depending on her partner, which is fairly problematic since it’s pulling labeling from a heterosexist, cissexist and binarist society. Never do that. It’s a bad call.  Also, shock and awe y’all, this happens with any polysexuality, including pansexuality. It’s not a good reason under any light.

But this isn’t a fisk of her article. Because really, she’s defending bisexuality from a giant strawman fallacy dropped by her just as wrong opponents. I’ve discussed the concept of cissexism and binarism within gay, lesbian and etc labeling before but I haven’t tackled bisexuality’s rather unique situation as of yet and handled the topic in a more general fashion. So today I’m sliding on my details hat and going full steam into what about bisexuality is the binarism and cissexism issue and what isn’t.

Continue reading ‘Bisexuality, Binarism And Why Everyone Has It Wrong’

Crossposted to The Spectrum Cafe.

Ever since I started transition, ever since I even started to explore my dissonance, people have walked all over me. People have hurt me, used me, fucked me over and said horrible things about me and the other women like me.

When I started blogging, when I raised my voice approximately a year and a half ago, even more people spewed their hateful bullshit on me. And even more people spewed more subtle transmisogyny at me. Little things but they wore me down never the less.

I’ve talked about activism and some of the limitations we face IF we want to change things ourselves before. But I’m not talking about activism right now. I’m talking about survival.

Continue reading ‘I Can’t And I Won’t.’

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I reserve the right to re post and mock the shit out of any hateful, transphobic, ableist, racist or otherwise privileged -ism mongering emails. I may also post your email address if you send one of those emails, as a warning to others to junk mail queue your address, so mail carefully.

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